Wednesday, April 4, 2012
I have accepted that I can't do it all.
Yes, I know I am super woman ;) but sometimes even heroes have to rest.
Okay just kidding about that, but seriously I have to ease my load or I am going to break(!) or as my daughter would say "trip and kick the bucket."
I have home schooled my daughter since the beginning of last years summer break. I loved it dearly and have had so much fun between museums once or twice a week, dance, gymnastics, going to the park and co-op groups. I love building her curriculum and guiding her learning to the way she learns best.
I love my little man and he is growing so very fast and turning five months in a few days. He demands with his cute gum smile that I stay close by and if I forget he yells "mmmmmmmammmmmmma!"
Life couldn't get any better than that.
I am a home body in a way which may be surprising to some.
But I love getting my house clean and gardening. I love cooking tasty meals to watch tired faces turn to smiles and the routine of nightly chores. When it comes time to read a bedtime story I watch my two little angels with their heads laying on Madison's pillow and think how life could never get any better this moment.
My daily medical routine is very demanding without IV's and when it is time for them everything turns to chaos, mostly the house but it feels like everything. Oh yes and doctor visits and not just for me!
Some where between all of that I have to keep up with my two Brittany's and make time for Mike and I every evening before passing out.
Standing back it still doesn't seem so overwhelming, but I made a list and surprising when I break down my weekly 7 day list I am totaling around 78+ hours a week in house work, medical care, child care, gardening, events & activities, traveling and randomly twitching.
That is where I am beginning to run dry and as of now my health is going to start demanding more!
Mike and I discussed and have decided to send Madison back to school.
We are deciding between private or public year round school.
Madison is off that charts excited. We were worried that she would have a problem with going in because come sometime towards the end of the year we are moving to Texas. But my wise little child beyond her years said "I love new schools. You meet new people and plus every school year you get a new teacher anyways so it's not different moving around."
I feel comfortable that this transition will go smoothly for her, but for me I am going to miss her like mad. I love teaching and to teach my own child is a gift in its own. When she learns something new or it falls in place and it clicks she just lights up! I love seeing that and not hearing it second hand. I want to be there when she loses her first tooth and every other first.
I do feel that this is what God has guided me to, a cross road and much pray and thought I feel confident that I am doing what is expected of me.
If not when I reach the dead end I will turn around and try again until I get it right!
This will free up much of my time giving my demanding new medical schedule more time and some leftover to rest.
This mommy knows I can't do it all and it's time to slow down, rest and take of myself for them.