Saturday, July 16, 2011

Boy or girl???

Boy or girl? That is the big question awaiting to be answered (hopefully) Tuesday (July 19th 2011) morning. We are so happy with our daughter and what a gift she has been to us over the past five years. 

Madison was quite a surprise to us. Michael and I had decided to set up an appointment with my gynaecologist to start the discussion as to what steps on their end do they know what needs to happen before we try to conceive. We would follow up this discussion with my Cystic Fibrosis team. 


After consulting with her and recommending screening for Michael and discussing the same thing with our CF doctor we felt that we were on the right track.
Michael left the room and I mentioned to the doctor of some personal issues I was quite nervous about. My mom (adopted) had breast cancer prior to my adoption. That being the reason she could no longer conceive children. Within the past two weeks prior to this appointment I discovered a knot in my breast and they both were as tender and in pain as could be. One of my biggest fears had me convinced that indeed I had a cancer form growing in me. 
After an exam she had me retrieve her a urine specimen. 
Now I must say that at this point in the bathroom I thought she had done lost her mind or fell asleep during class in the teaching of "testing for breast cancer." 
It just didn't seem possible that pee in a cup could determine a hundred percent breast cancer if at all. So there I sit waiting to hear my results.


She walked into the room with the biggest smile (I was feeling hopeful) and she informed me that "no I do not have breast cancer". I began to smile and be very joyful as she added "it's certainly not breast cancer, but you are pregnant!"
I immediately sat down feeling confused, scared, wanting to barf and happy.
Pregnant!!! Well that isn't how we had this planned.


So Madison was our surprise. She was better than any surprise birthday party, pay raise and anything that we had ever accomplished. Mike and I still remember the joy of sharing together those happiest moments of our life. And the best part of those moments is they still happen each and every day as we hear her sweet little voice wake up and run to us.


This baby was planned. He/she was one of our best plans that we have made together in our six years. However, in the planning process I didn't take into account the hot weather. Actually I didn't take into account for it at all.
We talked to my doctors and did what tests had to happen before having a green light.
Coming off of birth control and patiently waiting, waiting and waiting was boring. So when we gave up on the thought and then I began to become skeptical if I could possibly conceive a second time.

THE KNOWING:



Yes the title sounds like a horror movie, but I really knew.
One morning I woke up to get Maddie ready for school.
As I headed down the hallway to the bathroom I began to feel very weak, I looked up and instantly felt this need to hug the toilet bowl. As I dash into the bathroom I stopped halfway there feeling cold sweats and the room tilting. I knew I was about to pass out. I sat down and shoved my back to the wall and yelled for Maddie to get my phone. I tried several people, but at 6:4o in the morning not to many are up yet. 
I tried Mike and couldn't get him at work and then called his aunt Vickie. Mike's Uncle came over picked me up and carried me to the bed. Vickie helped Maddie get ready until Mike got home. Vickie checked on me before she left and asked what I thought was wrong. I informed her I was pregnant.
Throughout the day I became worse and I knew something wasn't right because it was the first time since before Madison's pregnancy I had a migraine.
The migraine progressed to the point that breathing hurt my head. We went to the doctor and then transferred me to the ER. After receiving a miracle drug that I asked several times "is it safe for pregnancy" my migraine subsided to a headache. 


This continued for the entire four months to come. Nausea & migraines was a daily routine. I took pregnancy test after test, then I went to the doctors several times for blood tests. Mike in the mean time kept saying I needed to stop that I was hurting my self because I wasn't. Which is understandable after so many tests and tearful nights as to wondering why it hasn't shown.

I looked in front of the mirror one day and my stomach had dropped into a pouch looking form right above my under garments. How strange I thought it was like a sack of fat the bulged out and shook. I never had that before and I regularly exercised.
I skipped tests for a week and tried to get rid of my thoughts and knowing feelings.
However, on one victorious night after six weeks and an EPT test later I was in fact PREGNANT!!!
Yep, that cross instantly came up. Three more tests later and that cross wasn't budging. I went to the doctor where she skipped a urine test and pulled out the ultra sound machine and there sat my little circle. It was a baby to be!


So note:
though there may be a some doubt, you truly do know when you are pregnant.


Now the question remains; boy or girl? :)

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